Thursday, October 31, 2013

Things I'm Afraid to Tell You


No, this isn't going to turn into one of those "I'm still alive" posts. I took a deliberate break from the blog to focus on putting my life back on its rails. After months of being unemployed I finally secured a full-time job in the seasonal department of Hobby Lobby.  I must say that for an ex-sculptor it's pretty fabulous work. I get to design visual set displays all day long and research craft trends for ordering. Along with that, I've been doing some free-lance art commission that I'll be posting about later.  

First off, I would really like to thank my readers and the artists who have let me write about them and their work. It's been a real privilege to interview these fantastic people. People are actually reading what I'm saying on here. I checked my referring page stats and I was surprised by the amount of hits I have received on this blog in my absence.  I love blogging and hope to keep it up for a long time. 

My title for this post and graphic comes from one of Marisa Haedike's posts on her blog, Creative Thursday. I thought this would be a great way to enter back into the blogosphere. (Not to mention the title is perfect for Halloween.)  The "Things I'm Afraid to Tell You" posts are actually not a new idea in the blogger world. In fact, they were prompted by a movement that inspired bloggers to be more honest about their lives beyond the photoshopped and perfectly graphic designed world of design and lifestyle blogs. While I try to be as honest and inspiring as possible, sometimes I fall into the trap of trying to make every post perfect and maintaining a publisher quality veneer. The following list is a few little tidbits about myself you might not know.   

Here goes:
  • Last February, I quit my first real job as an art teacher. I've never quit anything in my entire life and I still have some guilt in regard to that decision. It was extremely to admit you are not cut out for a career field that you have two degrees in. I'm still like to think of myself as an educator of sorts, just not in the traditional classroom sense. Honestly, I doubt I will ever teach k-12 again. I still love learning and always will and I love sharing that with other people. I just need to find my platform. 
  • Professionally, I have no idea where my life is going. This is an offshoot of my last point, but I feel like it's an important one to address because the main point of this blog is to be a transparent look to other people trying to live a creative lifestyle or are just starting out as artists. Now that I look back on my college career, I feel like I was just coasting along in a path that I thought I should take because out of all the art careers that I felt were available to me, it seemed like the most secure. I've come to realize the unsecured path is the one I want to be on. It's messy and stressful at times, especially the point where I was unemployed, but it's been a great journey so far.  
  • I like getting older. I secretly wish I was in my 40s, because in  my imagination, I see women in their forties as people who have a clear grip on who they are and accept themselves. There is just something seasoned sounding about being in your forties. It's a point where you have a substantial amount of life experience, but you're still constantly learning and changing. I'm getting closer to that kind of freedom now that I am entering my later twenties (I turned 27 a few weeks ago (!)
  • I don't like the way I "sound" on this blog. Finding your voice as a writer is tough business. I feel like I write very clean and sterile on here. My favorite writers are the gritty, raw hell-raisers of seventies subculture fiction like Charles Bukowski, Raymond Carver, and Hunter S. Thomson. I've made a conscious effort not to do lot of cursing on this blog because I want it to be something that can be shared with everyone. However, my regular vocabulary is usually peppered with a few choice four letters for a little enhancement. 
  • I write and enjoy fan fiction. I have been for nearly fourteen years, to be exact. Of this list, that is probably the biggest one I'm afraid to tell people! My personal favorites are well-written fan stories adapted from 90s cartoons and Star Wars. After keeping it closeted for years, I've finally established an account on fanfiction.com. While it sounds really nerdy, I see writing from media that already exists is only another form of a writing prompt exercise that improves your writing overall. 


2 comments:

  1. Wonderful post. I have to say I am pretty much with you on the first three things, and a sometimes on the fourth, so I hear you!

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  2. This is a really interesting post ... And very honest! Incidentally, I'm in my 40s, and although I certainly do feel I know myself a thousand times more than I did in my 20s ... and 30s! ... professionally I have no idea where my life is going. And right about now, I DON'T like getting older! I want time to freeze right about now - here is good! My daily speech is also, erm, "seasoned" - probably too much. I too try to keep it off the blog though. It's tough! ;-)

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