Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Air, and Light and Time and Space

A little bit of progress on the whole book thing ^ So I've been brainstorming for a proposal, and I realize the reason I make excuses so I never finish any creative project that I start. I always want to wait for "that" day, "that" opportunity, "that" studio space, or "that" computer. If you're reading this right now and doing the same thing repeat after me STOP. Don't make excuses. It doesn't matter if you don't know what you're doing yet, just do something! I bought a yellow legal pad and just started writing. It's just one page and sketchy, but it's something. That's what have to keep doing everyday to survive creatively and otherwise.


I found this fantastic poem by Charles Bukowski a few weeks ago on Brainpickings.org that really illustrates what I'm talking about. For those of you who know nothing about Bukowski, he is a poet who basically worked twelve years in drudgery for the US postal service. He smoked, drank, womanized, raised all kind of unimaginable hell and I just love the old guy. In all the time he worked nights sorting mail he still wrote. He worked 12 mind numbing hours a day and still wrote like a boss.  The blue collar inspiration to the rest of us working stiff.

Air, and Light and Time and Space
”– you know, I’ve either had a family, a job,
something has always been in the
but now
I’ve sold my house, I’ve found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I’m going to have
a place and the time to
no baby, if you’re going to create
you’re going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
you’re going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you’re on
you’re going to create with part of your mind and your body blown
you’re going to create blind
you’re going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.
baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don’t create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses
-Charles Bukowski 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

My Next Big Project and Goodbye to My Car

Well, my yesterday homework for Blogging From the Heart was a little bit delayed due to my being in a wreck coming home from work. Don't worry; I'm okay. I just need to get a new car because mine is basically totaled. The day wasn't a total loss because I came up with an idea. Last week I talked about wanting to write more and I think I've found my perfect project. I love reading stories and listening to podcasts about how artists or creative business people start from the ground up. I asked myself: why aren't these gritty, wonderful stories being talked about more?

I would love to write a book sharing these stories. I think it would be incredibly inspiring, especially now in an economy where it seems as if the only stable way to keep a job is to make it yourself. The issue comes up of my story. Well, I don't feel like I have much of a story just starting in. That's the fun of it, isn't it? When I started on this journey I didn't feel like I had much of a story, just another person who just finished college and couldn't find a tolerable job that used their skills. Then again, I guess that is a story.

Historically, I am notorious to never finish anything that I start. Perhaps, keeping this blog up with no more long hiatuses will give me a measure of accountability. The same thing applies to my paintings and all the other unfinished stuffs that I keep myself occupied with. My grad school thesis is the only huge thing in my life that I've actually accomplished, but, then---I kind of had to do it to graduate.

I'm excited to see where this all will lead. More later.

Also, here are some photos of my poor deceased baby of a car :( It will be sorely missed.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Making Mission Statement

"The act of making marks is perhaps the most basic human instinct. Drawing is what makes me human. My art keeps me sane. It is such a release to me. I cannot see myself doing anything else in my life other than creating art and learning about it. Art helps me communicate my emotions better than using words. I am a visual person at heart. I do not want to merely  project my own emotions on paper, I want to inspire emotions in others. My goal is to pull the viewer into my work and invite them to feel what I am trying to say about the world visually. I want to evoke a sense of empathy with my work and the type of feelings I portray in my drawings and paintings. When I do this I feel successful as an artist..."

This was an artist statement that I wrote nearly years ago during my second year of college. It is the second time this passage has shown up in my blog. A year or so ago I was visiting my parents and my mother had dragged this little scribble on printer paper out of an old folder shoved way back into the guest room closet. Bluntly put, my creative side of my brain is what keeps me alive. My art is mostly about me and my experiences . The blog I keep is my way of sharing those experiences with people who can relate to them.

As part of my Blogging from the Heart course, I've been thinking about my mission statement or purpose for my blog. I've also been listening to some of Marisa Haedike's (one of my bloggess heros) beautiful podcasts on her journey to becoming a successful artist. She frequently discusses how it is sometimes rare to hear the story of failures and "paying dues" from someone who's made it. I think it is important to talk about those experiences, because that is what makes you as an artist. I also believe that it is important for artists who blog about their journey to be transparent about where they've been. With that transparency, experiences can be shared and communities can form. 

That is what I want my blog to be- a catalyst for an community of growing artists.  

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Entering the Online Community

Blogging from the Heart

The next six weeks I will be enrolled in Susannah Conway's Blogging from the Heart e-course. I am fiercely excited about being able to do this. This is the first actual e-course I've ever taken where I will have a chance to interact with other people (my classmates) online. I love learning and connecting with new people, so needless to say this is a treat. Also, since grad school my "I want another degree" bug has been itching again. I've been turning the idea of getting an MFA in painting around in my head since before I got my education degree, but opted getting a degree I thought I'd have a better chance getting a job in. If money were no object, I would be in school my entire life. After enviously watching nursing majors studying over huge text books with high-lighters in  hand during my post crack-of-dawn workout coffee runs at Starbucks, the need to take another class has been pounding in my brain.

My visual arts side is asleep for a bit, save a few downtown figure drawing sessions and cartooning while watching Disney movies. My hands want to write. They want to type and get smudged up with ink. Technically, if you count my thesis I've already written a book. It was a major accomplishment and a creative light bulb. I thought "Hey, if I can write a 150 page thesis I can write a real book!" I've been dabbling with ideas for children's books, self help books, fiction, and...eh-hem...fanfiction. This past week I grabbed a few Moleskins from Target and spent about two hours analyzing sentence structure in Charles Bukowski's Factotum. I really want to write something that matters, but I don't know what.

Blogging here has been my self-publishing outlet, but there are many times when I go months with hearing any comments or interacting with other bloggers I feel disconnected. For someone who spends so much time online reading blogs and what other people write, I'm admittedly a bit of a troller. There are some wonderful bloggers that I have been reading for three years that I have never sent an email to. I'm fascinated by the idea of "internet" friends, but just really don't know who to go about making any. I feel like the girl new in school. 

I'm hoping that by joining Susannah's course of creatives I can get over it and make some lasting creative connections. After graduating art school the internet is a great place to start a hub of like minded people, even if the place you happen to live doesn't exactly have your niche of creatives. That is the beauty of the internet. After you get past all the bad Youtube comments, cat pictures, and memes it can be a powerful tool to start little communities. 

Cheers and happy Sunday. 
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